Why motherhood can be a mirror

And we don't always like what we see

I knew exactly what kind of mum I was going to be before I became one.

Kind, wise, calm, present, emotionally intelligent…

Unfortunately, becoming a mum brought me head to head with all the parts of myself that I found most scary or upsetting. I rarely felt calm or wise, and staying present was much harder than I could have anticipated at times.

And this is something that we don’t often talk about, how becoming a parent can bring you face to face with all the anxieties and fears that you are able to suppress, repress, avoid, and deny when you aren’t a parent.

Sounds a bit full on, doesn’t it? Why would anyone want to knowingly do that to themselves?

Well obviously I don’t know in every case, but I have a feeling it’s because most people find a way of getting through it. I've seen it in my clients, in my friends, in the mothers I speak with. How they encounter aspects of themselves they had maybe not expected to find, and how hard that can be to be with or work through if necessary.

It can be awful and painful, but they find a way through.

But right at the start, you might not be even able to conceive how that is possible. You might look at other people with children and wonder how they can look content, happy even.

I get that. It’s an incredibly hard place to be.

And I know I bang on about therapy (because that’s what I believe in and offer!) but I also believe that there are so many other ways of moving through these feelings too. That therapy may or may not be a part of it.

And if you’re feeling stuck in your feelings just now, I hope this maybe gives an idea that it can change. That you won’t be here for ever.

Until next time, take care,

Sarah x